r/self Oct 27 '22

Self is now limiting submissions to two per account in a rolling 24 hour period.

132 Upvotes

Hello all,

There seems to be a higher than normal number of users taking advantage of our previous unlimited submission policy, and for the most part spamming the queue with multiple submissions every day. Some of these are utter nonsense and do not really add much to this community. As a result we are now limiting the total number of submissions per user to 2 submissions during a 24 hour period. This includes deleted posts, so you cannot circumvent the limit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment in this thread.


r/self 7h ago

Hey guys, I'm excited to share that I officially became a doctor today! Hard work and dedication really pays off. Can't wait to start making a difference in the lives of my patients. Any other doctors here with advice for a newbie like me?

160 Upvotes

Hey everyone! Just wanted to share that I officially became a medical doctor today after grinding through 6 years of studies. Mixed emotions overwhelming me right now. On one hand, the stress of medical school is finally lifted off my shoulders but on the other hand, I'm feeling a bit anxious about the responsibility ahead.

When I first entered med school, I must admit that I wasn't entirely sure why I chose this path. The idea of being a doctor seemed different from the reality of it, at least for me. However, throughout this journey, I've discovered that the real joy of medicine lies in connecting with people, healing them and providing support during tough times. It actually took me 2 years to finally realize that medicine was for me, but all the hard work and dedication was definitely worth it.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day/evening and please wish me luck on this exciting journey 🤞


r/self 7h ago

I wish that people would stop calling me smart.

124 Upvotes

When my father, teacher, etc tell me that I'm smart and that I should get all A's and understand stuff easily, I end up expecting that from myself as well. And when I come across something I struggle with, it crushes me because I think I should be understanding it perfectly. And then I feel like such a massive and a major disappointment to my family and friends.

Why can't people just stop saying I'm smart?


r/self 12h ago

I think my dad is cheating on my mom with somebody from work.

128 Upvotes

I am 15M. My dad is 56 and the CEO of a big company. This event all started when me and my dad decided to buy ChatGPT plus. We logged into my dad's account and on his history I saw "CEO affair consequences". My dad probably thought I hadn't seen it because he quickly logged out. Before he changed his password, I logged in and I saw that my dad has asked ChatGPT" What are the consequences of CEO having an affair with somebody from workplace". The chat did not mention a specific person, so there is no concrete proof. I was also unable to get pictures of the chat because he changed his password after that event and I have no proof. Now I normally would leave it be. I wouldn't confront my mom or my dad about an affair. However, in this case there may be a power exploitation. My dad could have threatened to fire an employee if she did not have sex with him. This case is not a simple cheating case. It feels morally wrong to disregard such a a thing. I'm in a weird situation where I'm not quite sure what to do. Should I confront my dad or should I talk with the school counselor. I feel like I've lost all the respect for my father.

Edit: Maybe I could login to his phone and get a screenshot of the message with ChatGPT. I could try it but even that wouldn't prove anything because a person could just edit HTML.(website code)


r/self 1d ago Platinum Tearing Up

My friend was found dead in her apartment yesterday.

2.0k Upvotes

I messaged her on Facebook to invite her to a friend’s birthday party next week, and the woman who found her had her phone and messaged me. Sarah had been dead for a few days. Likely suicide, although no autopsy has been done yet.

My boyfriend and I helped her move into that apartment only a month ago.

My boyfriend is at a beer pong tournament with his brother, and I’m alone tonight. I got the message while we were waiting for our dinner to arrive at the restaurant, and I had him ask the waiter to bring my food in a takeout container. I drove home, and it snowed the whole way.

I was supposed to be there to help her unpack and organize her new place over the last month, but I was on stress leave and I was overwhelmed and didn’t reach out. I should have. I really should have. I was selfish, and I’ll always regret that.

I’m at home watching Tremors now. It’s one of my comfort movies.

She was brilliant, kind, compassionate, and genuine. She was always open and brave and real.

And now she’s gone.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m sorry, Sarah.

I’m glad you’re at peace now. Give Meela all the pets for me. She was a good dog, and I’m so glad you’re with her again.

Edit: Thank you to everyone reaching out. I don’t think I’m going to really reply anymore, but I’m reading every comment.

Sarah was a good person. She struggled with drug addiction, depression, anxiety, and had been raped and had gone through horrendous relationships. She was banned from a bar for punching her abusive ex in the face, and texted me a photo once of his stuff piled in a snow bank when she kicked him out. She was into kink, painting, and was a professor. She was extremely sex-positive, and one of the people I never felt judged with. One of the last times I saw her, I was driving her to pick up her playmate Dom at his parents’ place and dropped them off at hers so they could have fun. One of the funniest memories of my life.

Please check on your friends today.

Please love them.

It’s a hard world, and the hardest thing in this world is to live in it, and sometimes it gets too much. Sometimes it’s more than we can handle.

Sarah was loved. Sarah was kind. Sarah was good. And she’s gone now, and that’s not okay and I miss her and I want her back.

But she’s at peace. And that’s okay. She’s not hurting anymore. She’s with her dog Meela again, who she loved so very much. She’s not in a tiny apartment she can barely afford anymore. She’s not where her exes can hurt her.

She’s safe. She’s at peace. And I hope that’s enough. I’m not religious, but….

There’s somewhere out there, where she’s okay and she’s happy again.

There’s gotta be.

Edit: I just remembered another funny moment, and I wanted to share it. While my boyfriend and I were helping her move, she asked me if it would be okay if she jokingly told him he was 'the best boyfriend she ever had'. (We talked a lot about how my boyfriend was the best person I'd ever been with, and definitely knocked any of her exes out of the water as well.) I told her it was, and he laughed so hard and hugged her. That was one of the last times I saw her.

Edit: Thank you to whoever gave this an award, but before anyone else does, please donate to something like CAMH instead. Mental health awareness is important


r/self 11h ago

So happy with my new job!

57 Upvotes

A few months back I was working part time days evenings and weekends. I tried to get as many shifts as I could but was still only getting 28 max. I hated the evening shifts and hated the 5 hour shifts. I applied online for months for honestly anything better. I just wanted to get full time hours didn't care if it was minimum wadge or not. I ended up getting a job working with kids (what I went to school for) full time, above minimum day shifts, weekends off, and I get benefits. I can't believe I managed to sucure this job. Now I can finally get my license and a car!


r/self 5h ago

I created a forum for schizophrenics to validate their delusions, and I need help.

17 Upvotes

When I was 18, I was a dorky little stoner kid who listened to too much Joe Rogan. Sometimes Joe or guests would talk about the idea of our universe being a simulation; the creation of a supercomputer of a more advanced simluation. Ya know? "You're just a brain in a vat" or Matrix stuff.

It was fun, and I made a subreddit, /r/SimulationTheory, and then forgot about it. Then Elon Musk got on stage somewhere and started to talk about it, and now my subreddit is 40k subscribers strong.

After the subreddit started to grow, it attracted some interesting fellows. It became a very regular thing that people with Schizophrenia would post on the subreddit.

And it was wild stuff.

"My doctor says I had a psychotic break, but I know the truth!"

"Hey man, don't take those [anti-psychotic] pills they gave you! It just keeps you from seeing the simulation."

"Last night I saw the simulation, and I found a way to get out."

"Do you guys think its the Jews keeping us here?"

"If you can't debunk simulation theory by noon today, I am taking my own life."

So I locked the sub. I tried to moderate at first, but it was too much for me. And I am not good enough to make the subreddit work. So I locked it.

I've made a lot of people upset, and many want what I built so they can take a shot at it, but I've always said no.

A lot of people will say,"You can't save em all, they'll just go somewhere else! Don't let them hold the sub hostage!" Blah Blah. I don't want to be the harbringer of pschizoid madness. I don't want to be the reason someone stops taking their meds. Maybe they would have anyway, but I don't care.

Here's what happened though: The subreddit was taken from me.

There is a subreddit called /r/redditrequest where you can find old dead subreddits and revitalize them by getting the admins to put you in place as moderator.

Two requests were made for my sub, and they were denied, but a third one was granted access and they then removed me as mod.

Now, I tried to keep up with this account, I have a new account I use regularly and this account I keep as a kind of archive of my teens and early 20s, but I got a new job and I just stopped worrying about responding to DMs.

This was a mistake because the admins labelled me inactive and gave that guy the subreddit. They removed me, added two new mods and they have since deleted their account!

Meanwhile, the other mods of the subreddit are inactive and one actively denies ON THE SUB that schizophrenia is real.

Now, I have made a request on the r/redditrequest subreddit but it could take a month before they see my post, and even then, I may not get reinstated.

I dunno what the rules are on soliciting here, but...I'd like help if anyone has it.


r/self 9h ago

Never thought I'd make it this far...

27 Upvotes

My title is a little baity, but this will be short. Today is my birthday. I'm 56 today.

When I say I never thought I'd make it this far, I mean that I never thought of myself being middle-aged, much less really old. I'm thinking this is pretty much normal. I'm just wondering if my fellow middle agers have the same experience or something else.

Have a great day everyone!

😎


r/self 8h ago

I’m at rock bottom

19 Upvotes

I want to preface this by saying I know my situation is not the worst in the world. There are many people who have it a lot worse. When I say rock bottom, I just mean the lowest I have ever been. And how I am doubting my ability to get out.

I (25f) have been dealing with severe mental health issues since I was fifteen. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar 1. If I delve into all of my past, this post would be a novel, so I’ll just say most of these ten years have been filled with a lot more pain than joy. It’s come in waves though. There’s always a struggle but there are times where it’s REALLY bad in comparison to others.

This is one of those times. It started in May. I moved into my own apartment. I had already done this once, but it ended in me having a complete mental breakdown. But I had been doing better than I ever have in the months leading up to this, so I thought I was ready. The adjustment ended up being really hard. I felt very very lonely. It was overwhelming having an entire apartment to take care of, having to make all of my own meals, all while holding down a full time job, which has always been difficult for me in itself. I understand that these are things every adult does and I need to stop being a baby about it, but for some reason, it’s been a struggle. All this stress caused my mood to shift, which added even more to my plate. It’s difficult to do anything when i’m feeling down.

Things REALLY took a turn in November. I cant really identify much of a trigger, other than that it had been months of struggling at that point, and the cold and the dark have always affected me in the winter too. I just became extremely depressed. I was in so much pain.

So here’s where I am today. I’ve been having trouble taking care of myself. I’ve been showering about once a month (gross, I know). I brush my teeth a couple times a week. My hair is completely matted. My apartment is trashed. Literally. Trash all over the place. It’s been so long since i’ve done any laundry. I don’t cook for myself, virtually all of my food is from restaurants. It’s mostly carbs, cheese, and desserts. I go to food for comfort. I’m morbidly obese. I feel so uncomfortable in my body, but the immediate reward of the food is just too tempting when I’m in so much pain and just want a relief. This has also hurt my wallet. I have 13k in credit card debt. I got a second job in the fall to help pay this off, but i’ve barely made a dent because I’ve been using all the extra money for food.

When I’m not working, i’m laying in bed. It’s one or the other. I occasionally go to the theatre to see shows, as that is one of my passions, but that can only happen about once a month typically. I WAMT to get out of bed. I WANT to shower. I WANT to clean. But it feels like I can’t. I’m sure that sounds like i’m just some lazy ass who feels worry for herself. I probably am. But it’s as if something is holding me down. It’s like i’m strapped to this bed. It’s the oddest thing. When I do muster up some energy, I’ll fill up a trash bag and that’s all I can do. I get so exhausted, my body quits.

I feel… empty. Numb, except for moments of extreme pain at night where I sob uncontrollably. I’m in therapy and i’m on meds. I’ve had a few different therapists, the one I have now has been the best by far. I did make progress under her. Those months that I was doing well prior to moving out, she helped immensely with that. It’s like at this point, i’m just unhelpable. I don’t know where to go from here and the doctors don’t even know either. My therapist said the other day “I just don’t know what else I can do to help you” and said we should explore additional avenues of treatment.

I don’t know what to do. I just want to be better.


r/self 26m ago

i dread the day he decides to hoover me

Upvotes

I’ve been almost a year now getting over my discard from an abusive situationship.

He went no contact once he found another girl to entertain him.

I sometimes think if he will ever try to hoover me and I dread that day. I will be so creeped out. I hope he stays no contact. Ive got his number(s) blocked everywhere so hopefully he wont be able to find a way in.

Just thinking about him and how he acts and hurts women creeps me tf out now. I wonder if he will ever try to come back and I pray not. Its so scary the whole situation.


r/self 7h ago

I wish I'd been allowed to read the Harry Potter books as a child

7 Upvotes

My mother didn't allow me access to anything with witchcraft or wizardry as a child. (She thought it was evil. I was raised very heavily Christian.) I was always interested in the Harry Potter books, and I decided to read them now that I'm an adult. I wish I would have read them as a kid. They are phenomenal! I could have joined the Harry Potter club at my school and had some friends. (I didn't have many friends. The friends that I did have didn't last longer than a year or two. My mother didn't want me to make friends that weren't Christian.)

TL:DR I'm really just venting. Wishing I would have taken up an interest in Harry Potter as a child. There were a lot of Harry Potter fans at my school when I was a kid and I could have made some friends instead of being so isolated.


r/self 1h ago

I miss my kids...

Upvotes

They're grown and busy. And I miss having them around and the random conversations we'd have.


r/self 1h ago

hopelessly in love

Upvotes

im so in love with my friend

i can't keep gushing about him to my friends because they'll get annoyed but anyway

i have a friend (i'll call him kyle) who lives in a timezone six hours ahead of mine. plus i'm a very busy person so we struggle to talk much

but despite that i'm so in love with him. he sends me pictures of himself and he's the cutest person i've ever seen, and i send him pictures of myself and he compliments me like i'm some kind of adonis, and he's just so sweet and so so funny. i never thought i'd meet someone like him

even my ex who i dated for a year, i never felt this way towards them. even at the beginning of our relationship there was never any attraction, in fact i dreaded seeing him some days. i don't think either of us were really into each other

but kyle?? dude oh my GOD. he's so perfect. literally every message from him has me smiling like an idiot. we vc whenever we can and he sends me pictures of cats and food that he thinks i would like and he's so so thoughtful and he's just. have i said that he's adorable yet?? he's so pretty he has these little dimples when he smiles and his hair looks so soft and i want to hug him so so bad. i don't even remember when i started thinking about him like this

he has also single-handedly made me like pet names. my ex would only call me babe when he wanted something, but kyle has all these sweet nicknames for me and they're so personal and he calls me like. my love and babe and stuff sometimes but i don't cringe at the notifications i get so giddy over it

and apparently he's into me too??? we were talking today and he confessed after i said something as a joke (not really joking but you know) and apparently for months he's been thinking about like. kissing me and holding my hand and everything and i just

i don't think it's set in yet but point is. im so in love with him i think. just had to tell people


r/self 11h ago

Why do my Friends hype me Up so much for no reason?

12 Upvotes

I started college this year and honestly, its been really amazing to me. I've made a close group of Friends and for some reason they hype me Up for the most random things all the time to the point where its getting kind of confusing. I've never had anything like that happen to me before so I can't help but think this behavior isn't as genuine as It seems. Am I overreacting?


r/self 2h ago

Have you ever been detained by the TSA at the airport?

2 Upvotes

r/self 3h ago

Feeling annoyed by the use of the phrase "whole personality"

2 Upvotes

Do people even know what personality traits are anymore? No matter how obsessed with something people are, an interest is never a personality. You cannot "make something your whole personality" even if you talk about it incessantly.

I see this trite and misused phrase multiple times a day. There are even buzzfeeds articles titled like "23 things people make their whole personality". I don't know how this misnomer was started, but can we please move on now?

Here are examples of things that are actually personality traits:

  • Shy or outgoing
  • Agreeable or disagreeable
  • Adventurous or cautious
  • Silly or serious

Etcetera. All of these things are completely independent of one's interests.


r/self 3h ago

Stressed as all hell right now.

2 Upvotes

About to move out soon, submitting my application today so I hope I get accepted. Don’t like how much money I’m gonna have after paying bills. Trying to figure out a way to make money online because I hate punching a clock. Currently working two jobs right now just so I can support my lifestyle.

So tired man. Really really really fu*king tired man.

Any e-commerce gurus out there that can throw some tips?


r/self 7h ago

How can I feel something?

4 Upvotes

I just feel so empty rn. Like I gave my school finals, I will get good grades for sure and most likely get into a good University. My life is basically sorted at the moment but I still feel nothing. I had felt like this for so long but always assumed that I was just stressed from school but now even that is done. Like why do I feel that way. I want to feel at ease. I want peace. I'm just so fucked up. Can anyone tell me how to deal with this? Like how can I feel better, how can I look forward to something meaningful?


r/self 3h ago

What is it like to work at McDonald’s?

2 Upvotes

I’m starting to look for my first job, and a job that almost everyone recommends is MD’s. Is it worth it? Thanks!


r/self 1d ago

I deleted me and my ex’s old text messages

398 Upvotes

Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but those conversations late at night were special to me. We remained friends and texted after she left, but she hasn’t texted me in 2 months. She doesn’t give a shit about me. The pictures are next.


r/self 4m ago

What is a word for your own concept of life? Like a life model?

Upvotes

I keep asking google but it thinks I'm asking about understanding. I'm just looking for a word that encompasses what someones model of or perception of life is. Like one word to sum up the idea of your perception of life. Life model? Is there a one word for this?


r/self 20m ago

MY EX ISN’T COMING BACK TO SCHOOL AFTER THIS YEAR

Upvotes

I (17m) had never experienced love, until she came along. She was like obsessed with me. I loved her and would have done anything. She got tired of me after nearly 2 months. I’ve been deeply depressed for MONTHS. I think we’re at like month 4. She’s been obsessed with this other guy now after telling me that she had been through a lot in the past and that she just didn’t feel ready for a relationship. Also she wanted to be friends with me, then proceeded to be the least responsive human being I have ever met. I’m so sick of her ass, hopefully one day she’ll stop going boy to boy, causing some of them to hate themselves. I have deemed her “The Depression Fairy”.

I rolled her love note into a blunt and smoked it. It tasted fucking terrible, and made my mouth dry. Don’t smoke, fellow kids.

Edit: I should clarify that I am ecstatic right now. I can now forget about her completely.


r/self 1d ago

She is not “just a hamster” to me.

78 Upvotes

My hamster of 2 years and 1 month is aging, and based on her vet visit today, likely has cancer. At this point trying to fix anything would be cruel, so I’m focused on keeping her comfortable and spoiling her for as long as I have left with her.

You probably read “hamster” and thought, they don’t live long anyway, what’s the big deal? But she is more than “just a hamster” to me.

I got her at a time where I was struggling in university, slowly dropping out of the teaching program. She gave me cuddles and sat on my chest as I panicked or cried. Sometimes nibbling my hand gently and brought me back to reality. She gave me a reason to work hard, get a job, earn to afford a big home for her, and all the food, treats, and enrichment she could ever need.

She is someone that I love and hold dear, she helped me through my grandfather’s death in December, and now I have to deal with the anticipatory grief knowing one day (likely soon) I will find her gone from this world, or will have to make the decision to end her suffering.

Yes, she is a hamster and I knew going in to this that she would only have a short time with me. That doesn’t make it any easier.

She has been my best friend, I love her so much, I just want her to feel comfortable and loved as she lives out her final months, weeks, or days.

She is not just a hamster, she is my hamster.


r/self 1h ago

I’m really sad and hurting

Upvotes

I am still suffering with heartbreak even though it’s been months. It hurts so much. I don’t know how to deal with that horrible sensation in my stomach when I think about this. I wish I could cry and let it all out.


r/self 1h ago

Real love

Upvotes

I cannot wait to find real love without lies, manipulation, mental abuse, and all that other chaotic nonsense.

I feel the day someone brings me true peace I am going to cry of joy.

I really wanted it to be with my past partner who I had to separate myself from, but we couldn't grow up fast enough for each other.

I love you friend. I pray for you everyday, God bless you.


r/self 1h ago

"doing this specific thing is the only way to learn it." Cool I guess I'm gonna just give up then because I literally have no idea how to start

Upvotes

Holy fucking shit man